Conflict in the Classroom

upset child

We know conflict is going to happen. Two children will want the same toy. Children will bump into each other. Someone will say something upsetting to another. There’s another type of conflict as well. The conflict brought on by what the teacher wants and what the child wants.

Read the following out loud
What’s the matter?
Can you use your words?
Be careful.

Did you notice anything about them? These examples are frequently heard in the classroom. Now read these out loud.
Can I help you with that?
You seem upset. What happened?
I’m worried you might fall. Let’s keep our feet on the floor.

Did you notice a difference from the first set?
We can set up a conflict between ourselves and the children by using commands instead of seeking to understand the child. Most of us (including children) do not like being told what to do. As adults, we have emotional controls so we don’t lash out at someone for issuing a command. Children are still working on those controls.

How Do You See the Child

Let’s take a few minutes to examine our beliefs about what children can do and with what we need to help them. If we believe children are capable, we allow them time to figure things out on their own, to put their coats on by themselves, to clean up after themselves and to serve themselves at meal time among all the other things children do throughout the day. Your attitude toward a child’s capability effects your interactions, problem solving, conflict resolution and about everything that happens in your classroom. It recognizes a child’s sovereignty. Treating children with respect shows our trust in the child’s ability. It means we give them the time they need to comply with the demands of the day.

Our actions throughout the day demonstrate how we see children. Whether we see them as capable or in need of assistance. Take a step back and look at your everyday interactions with children. Are you allowing the child to try and fail and try again, or do you jump in and solve the problem for the child?

Over the next few posts, we’ll look at some common situations with young children and evaluate our interactions and where we can trust children with more autonomy.